Bancuri

(“If you have any future thoughts or suggestions, please send them directly to my trash file.”)

Un baiat mititel ii spune tatalui sau:
-Tata vreau sa ma insor
-Mai intai trebuie sa-ti gasesti o fata si dupa aceea
-Am gasit, ma insor cu bunica
-Cum? nu se poate fiule sa te insori cu mama mea
-Da ce? tu nu te-ai insurat cu mama mea?

Un betiv se invartea in jurul unui stalp de iluminat pipaindu-l cu palmele, dupa o perioada incepe sa strige:
-Ajutor, m-au zidit de viu

Clientul catre barman
-As vrea ceva mare, rece si jumatate plin cu vodca
Barmanul: ce zici de soacramea?

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi